ARTHUR:

Anaheim calling to the hockey world...

Hiya, folks!  So, the Ducks have this thing called the Victory Pack.  Have you seen this?  Haveyouheardaboutthis?  You buy tickets to four games against the Red Wings, the Flames, the Kings and the Avalanche.  For every game the team wins, you win a free ticket to another game.  It's like a box office parlay.  I think I'll buy one, and I'll store the tickets next to all the free Hooters wings the Ducks have won me this year!  (cue rimshot)

I never thought I'd long for the team that showed up to play San Jose on opening night, but then I watched Wednesday's game.  It's like they were screaming to me, on every shift,  "Leave town!  Leave the country, you little bitch, because you're gonna look back on sloppy turnovers and shorthanded goals as a Golden Age!  Get ready motherf**kahhhhh!!"

Hopefully some other version of the team shows up tonight, even if just in honor of Boxing Day.  Happy Boxing Day, everyone!

F all of our L's!