ARTHUR:
We continue our Secret Santa, and Jen's got her gift for Earl.
JEN:
My dearest Earl,
At first, I wanted to take the easy way out and buy you more green shirts in bulk from the closeout section of the NHL store. But alas, you mean too much to me for that. I decided to hunt my little heart out to find you the perfect gift. And boy! There is some crazy s*** out there! And by s***, I mean that quite literally.
May you enjoy this toilet seat for all your days. Think of it as a way of s***ting on Disney for all the crap (pun intended) they did, and occasionally praising the porcelain God for bringing a team to Anaheim.
Happy Festivus,
Jen
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