Jen vs. The Puck Bunny
JEN:
We all know her. We've all seen her. Each professional sport has its incarnation of this mythic beast. For the NHL, she's the girl who comes to hockey games in a mini skirt, high heels, and full pageant makeup. And she sure as hell isn't looking at you, Mr. Regular Fan. Ahh yes, I'm talking about The Puck Bunny (also known as The Pro-Ho).
I must admit, when I see these ladies at Ponda Center, my BFF Kristin and I are usually pointing and laughing, especially when they start to shiver. While I may not be glamorous in my Getzlaf jersey and jeans, at least I'm warm. Another favorite thing of mine is to watch them try to maneuver down the stadium stairs in stilettos. It's hard to look sexy when you're clopping down stairs like a Clydesdale, trying to balance a beer, your gigantic purse, and keeping your boobs from flying out of your tube top.
Do you ever wonder why they come to the rink looking like that? It's not exactly like Jonas Hiller is going to get off the ice just to slip her his number. I guess they provide male fans with something to look at when the Power Players aren't on the ice. Away from the rink is not too much different. I live a mile away from Newport Beach, so you could say that I've observed the creatures in their natural habitat. The Puck Bunnies can smell early-twenties millionaires from a mile away.
True story. I was meeting a friend at the Yardhouse for dinner, drinks, and a little Olympic hockey. I happened upon a few girls I assumed to be rookie Puck Bunnies. As I sat at the bar, sipping my vodka tonic waiting for my friend, I eavesdropped on their conversation, which went like this:
Puck Bunny #1: I wonder when the players are going to be here.
Puck Bunny #2: I think there is a Mighty Ducks game tonight, so they should be here soon.
(Author's note: as I said earlier, it was Olympic hockey time)
Puck Bunny #1: Oh, ok good.
Puck Bunny #2: I heard Robby [sic] Ryan and Torey [sic] Perry come here after games. My brother told me Robby and Torey are good.
It was at that moment that I downed the rest of my drink and asked the bartender for a double. The chicks left not too long after to make their way to Sharkeez (another common hunting ground), still not realizing that their prey were up in Vancouver.
For all the Debbie Downers who say I'm ranting on the Puck Bunnies of the world because I'm jealous, I'm going to have to disagree. Sure, it would be cool to date/marry a hockey player, but I'm not totally comfortable knowing my boyfriend/husband was the target of easy and money hungry ladies. Yes, if it is a strong relationship, I wouldn't have to worry about his fidelity, but let's be realistic. The male libido is easily tempted. Plus, I'd like to tell my future kids how I met their dad. For some reason, saying "I first met your dad when we were partying at Sharkeez, and I threw up in his mouth. From that moment on...actually when he signed a contract extension, I knew it was love."
I rage against the Puck Bunnies for all the female fans that love throwing on their favorite team's jersey and going to games to actually watch hockey! (I've said it before, we're girls first, so attractive guys are just an added bonus to a sport we love so much.) I'm fighting for my fellow female fans that can hold a relevant conversation about hockey and take satisfaction in shutting up guys who think they know more than her. I'm speaking up for girls that want to meet their favorite players because of their play on the ice, not because they want to sleep with them.
I am the anti-Puck Bunny, a regular girl with all the original parts God gave her, making her own money at a job, paying for her own Ducks tickets, without a famous hockey playing boyfriend, and I love it.
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we’re girls first, so attractive guys are just an added bonus to a sport we love so much.
I think, as a guy, that not getting to experience that on a regular basis makes telling Puck Bunnies apart from normal female fans rather difficult, and it probably discourages female fans from admitting they find players attractive. But I’ve definitely found women in the sports world attractive. I’ve watched a few tennis matches for Martina Hingis in my day, and if Candace Parker played in the regular NBA, I’d probably watch all of her games. But I’ve never been motivated to seek any of them out in the real world, and I’ve always gotten their names right. :)
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 6, 2010 8:27 PM PDT reply actions
For all the Debbie Downers who say I’m ranting on the Puck Bunnies of the world because I’m jealous
Definitely not jealousy. More shame that our own kind would stoop to such levels and again give men a reason to think women are manipulative bitches. ugh! I hate those kinda women.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
While I may not be glamorous in my Getzlaf jersey and jeans, at least I’m warm.
Jeans + Hockey Jersey = super cute. It’s a Getzlaf jersey, so you lose a couple points, but hey, it’s a hockey jersey. A girl that can talk back and forth about hockey, or even argue about it with you? You go running to the nearest jewelry store you can find.
I know some girls don’t care for them, and label them as being strictly for the " NFL puck bunnies" (wtf do you call a Puck Bunny who watches football instead of hockey?), but I think the NFL’s fitted jerseys are absolutely fantastic. I don’t seem to see them anymore, but I remember seeing them around earlier in the decade, and I always thought they looked great. You’re expressing your love for the game, and you’re looking shapely while you’re doing it – it’s a win-win situation. I never got why some girls don’t like em. I wish the NHL did those, but with the general concept of a hockey sweater, I don’t know how well it could actually be pulled off.
http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.
You’re too funny.
I wish the NHL did ladies’ jerseys that weren’t pink and were fitted. With the exception of my Bobby Ryan Team USA jersey, I buy all my Ducks jerseys in a XL kids. Luckily I have a long, slim-ish frame, so it fits. The sleeves are a little short, but 3/4 sleeves are totally cool for girls. Other option (if you’re my roomie Kristin) you get a man’s jersey and take it to the tailor.
And shhh! Getzy is my favorite player. My next jersey is going to be Koivu, if he re-signs.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
I never got the pink either. Considering most of the NHL’s jerseys look pretty sharp anyways, bastardizing them in nasty pink colors is especially bad. As a guy, if a girl is wearing a pink jersey, that’s a big red (pink?) flag to stay away. Good on you and your roommate for doing what needs done to rock those jerseys properly.
Your next jersey should be a Darren Helm jersey though. If I had the cash, I’d get one. A girl in a Darren Helm jersey would be like the pinnacle of girls rocking hockey jerseys.
http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.
A girl in a Darren Helm jersey
Poor Joe. He’s looking for a girl to help him consummate his mancrush on Darren Helm. We might have the rare Male Puck Bunny on our hands. :-)
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 6, 2010 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Hey man, the kid epitomizes the game of hockey. Except, you know, the whole not having hands to save his life thing. So maybe he epitomizes rec league hockey. You can’t hate on that.
http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.
You’re thinking about kissing him right now, aren’t you?
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Damn good article. My girlfriend didn’t grow up with hockey or know next to anything about hockey before she met me. She’s slowly catching on and if someday she decides to slip on a hockey jersey, I will be tickled pink about it. But she doesn’t have to either. She dresses as herself and that’s all I can ask for. I don’t need some mini-skirt, tube top, high heals, more makeup than a clown freak as my girlfriend. I want her as she is, which is perfect.
Now, on to the real reason I wrote this… where the heck did you find a Bobby Ryan Team USA jersey?!?!?!?! I’ve looked high and low and haven’t been able to find one. Please do tell if you don’t mind. =D
The team store at Honda Center had them. I don’t know if they do anymore.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 10:36 AM PDT up reply actions
Call the team store and see if they have any left. Now would be a great time to get stuff from there. They usually drop the prices some after the season to clear out last years stuff.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions
They don’t. I’m going to go back to crying myself to sleep every night now. Thanks for the tips though.
Lets not forget that you can always visit the AC store as well.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 4:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Your girlfriend is very lucky to have you! If a guy doesn’t accept me for the way I dress, he can bite me.
I actually bought the throwback 1980’s jersey (they wore it when they beat Canada during the Olympics) with Bobby’s name and number from ShopUSAHockey.com. I had to personalize it because it wasn’t available for regular purchase. Not cheap, but I wanted it. I got Bobby to sign it, too.
1st crush – Getzy. 2nd crush – Saku. 3rd crush – Bobby. If I lose those last two, I might die.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
You are too kind.
Interesting way to get a jersey. Once I graduate next year and get a job that actually pays decent I might have to look into getting one. If not, I guess I’ll just have to wait til the 2014 Olympics roll around and hope that the NHL participates so I can snag one then. Either way, thanks for the tip.
And I see you and I have similar crushes. 1st – Bobby, 2nd – Getz, 3rd – Scotty. Lucky for me my girlfriend doesn’t mind my extreme man crushes. She just laughs and teases me about them.
And I am going to have to go ahead and agree with Arthur here that you are into some kinky things. Very interesting…
Sites like these are welcoming of the man-crush. Look at Arthur. He looovved Brookbank, even when everyone told him he would get his heart broken. Now he can gloat during the summer until the “I told you so’s” start.
You boys are welcome to form whatever fantasy you have about me. With that in mind, let’s decide to never meet in person :)
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
There was a Getzlaf interview before the end of the season, where he must have worked “I’m getting married over the summer” into his answer (to completely unrelated questions) about five times. That girl, puck bunny or not, is cracking the whip. I wish more wives were like that. Then I might see a reduction in the number of times I type in a hockey player’s name and Google offers the autocomplete “girlfriend.” That happened when I typed in Daniel Carcillo, and I turned off my computer on principle
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 6, 2010 10:30 PM PDT reply actions
I know what interview you’re talking about. It was the radio interview after the last game, at the Jack Daniels Club. Not sure if you heard, but after he said “I’m getting married” there was a loud “booooo”. Yeah that was me and my friend Tiffany. I might have drowned my sorrows of the last game of the season in one too many Blue Moons.
P.S. I went to high school with his future wife :\
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
Man I am a sucker for natural beauty.
I dont like all this done-up, make-up shit. ( I have dated both kinds.)
ex. I wanna be able to wake up and be like “hey babe wanna go somewhere?” and she’s ready in 20 or less, and looks good and not fake.
Now on special occasions getting all dressed up is good.
Girls that like hockey are good in my bed……..opps I mean book.
Amo la manera una haba y el burrito del queso siente alrededor de mi pene.
Everything mentioned in these comments I agree with (discounting the Helm jersey, though he is good), the above especially. About the only thing more attractive to me than a girl in a Getzlaf, or other Duck player jersey, is a girl in a #61 Fishsticks jersey, but that’s exclusive to me I’m sure.
UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...
by Bleys on Jun 7, 2010 12:16 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Thought I might add, ladies who are dating hockey players: you have lucked into an amazing cost-saving measure. For you, there is no need for expensive lingerie. If you are looking to excite your significant other, slip on his jersey and little to nothing under it. Gentlemen, you’re welcome.
UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...
by Bleys on Jun 7, 2010 12:27 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
haha. that can get creepy, though. in her kiss and tell book, Alyssa Milano said Brad Penny forced her to wear his jersey to bed. I don’t know about that.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Ah, see, the word FORCED kind of changes the nature of the action. But I’m avoiding the main point here.
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU READING A KISS AND TELL BOOK BY ALYSSA MILANO?
UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...
by Bleys on Jun 7, 2010 3:03 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
truth be told, I didn’t read it. It was a topic of discussion on an episode of Around the Horn after the book came out. Still, I thought it creepy.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’d read it if she dated an athlete I was remotely curious about, or maybe if she starred in a TV show after Who’s The Boss that I actually watched, but I have no interest in hearing about how Barry Zito clipped his nails or what happened on the set of Charmed. I’m not above reading a trashy tell-all, I just have no interest in what she’s telling.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions
dont be ashamed..shes bi and hot…no apologies necessary
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 9, 2010 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions
The idea of anyone
sleeping with Brad Penny is creepy. Seriously, that’s an ugly dude.
by PhantomPretender on Jun 7, 2010 3:07 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
For real. But Zito probably kicked her to the curb after his game went to hell. Ugly pitchers were probably the only ones still willing to roll the dice on her bad magumbo.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Now if my girl did this with my own rec league jersey (although it would need to actually be washed first), I have to admit, it would be pretty damn hot.
http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.
Tell her to read Anaheim Calling more often. See if she gets the hint.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 7, 2010 10:46 PM PDT up reply actions
You guys are so funny.
I’ve been told that a jersey, booty shorts and stillettos are welcomed by some gentlemen. If you ask me, that just reminds me of the Asian lady in Happy Gilmore in a Ranger’s jersey.
Although, I wouldn’t wear that for the actual player. That’s just ridiculous.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
At least these chicks are attractive
Nothing in the world is worse than Ring Rats, chicks who want to bang pro wrestlers. And the chicks that show up to the indie shows are even worse. Why on earth you want to bed some dude that doesn’t have a job and gets 40 bucks for slicing his head open is beyond me.
By the way, “Robby Ryan” could go a long way toward explaining my man crush :-)
by PhantomPretender on Jun 7, 2010 9:29 AM PDT via mobile reply actions
so umm im not a girl so which ducks player do you lady ducks think is the most attractive… i personally have a man crush on jonas
good read
those puck bunnies are annoying.
i’m not in an NHL city and can’t afford to make the trip to Vancouver to watch Canucks games, so the closest thing i have is the Victoria Salmon Kings from the ECHL. the couple times i’ve gone to their games, i haven’t seen any bunnies.
although i myself occasionally notice the attractiveness of the players, i watch for the sport.
Nucks Misconduct contributor.
Also on Twitter.
Still waiting for the Stanley Cup to go to the Canucks.....
Love seeing other teams’ fans on our board!
I went to Vancouver in March to see the Ducks play versus the Canucks. One thing my friend and I noticed was the lack of obvious Puck Bunnies at the game. It could be said that So Cal has more obvious PB’s because their dress could be considered normal daily wear, but because it’s at an ICE hockey game, it sticks out.
We did go to the famed Roxy afterward, and the bunnies were out in droves! Much more conservatively dressed, though.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
Yeah people from Vancouver are always welcome around here. I love that city from the time at the games. Great bars too.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 9, 2010 12:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Also
People already complain that Perry is a douchebag. If his name was Torey, wouldn’t that cause all douche meters to instantly disintegrate from the wave of douche?
by PhantomPretender on Jun 7, 2010 4:45 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Ehh
If there are hockey fans that can’t see the difference between a chick that loves hockey for the sport versus the guys, then that’s ashame. I’m a girl who can talk hockey with the best of ‘em (albeit I don’t wear a jersey to games. I also do not wear short skirts and all that nonsense), and I’ve never met another guy fan who called me a puckbunny. That’s a lie - I got it once because I was dating one. But that enraged me and the guy knew to never say that again. ;)
I’d say just shrug the ‘bunnies off. Everyone knows what they’re there for, and everyone (hockey players included) thinks they’re ridiculous.
I couldn’t agree more. For the most part, I do shrug them off. I’m always looking for a laugh (especially when the Ducks are sucking), so the bunnies provide what I need.
Unfortunatley, I have been called a Puck Bunny by those who don’t know the full extent of my love for the game. Maybe it’s the blonde hair? :)
One of my favorite lines I forgot to work into the story is, “My parents gave me a laptop when I graduated high school. These girls got boobs.”
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
To be honest I love my hometown but the Ducks need to realize something that us locals have known for a long time. Most (not all) of the girls here are gold diggers. I could name 5 bars right now that at 5 20 on Monday afternoon there are girls looking for rich guys. Yes we have great looking girls around here but just remember Ducks…. In 20 years you will still be rich and your money will still be worth something (hopefully). She on on the other hand is going downhill after 30 unless you are paying for “upgrades.”
She on on the other hand is going downhill after 30 unless you are paying for "upgrades."
Excuse me?? Now that’s a bit much huh?
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
Ok that part was a joke based on truth. I know you are up north but if you strolled into and of Newports fine cougar bars you would see that even though its a joke it is based on some fact. And yes I know cougars are way older than 30. It was meant as a joke since most of our guys are in the 20’s.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 7, 2010 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions
In 20 years you will still be rich? Just because these guys aren’t operating under the old Alan Eagleson pension, that doesn’t mean they all have a cushy retirement to look forward to for the second half of their lives. And that’s setting aside the desperation that sets in at the end of their careers and the first few years afterwards to invest some of the money wisely, thus leading to that golf resort development scam that tanked Steve Rucchin and company.
They may need these women in 20 years, especially if the NHL takes too much from them physically. And if they really WERE guaranteed to be rich for the next 20 years, they would just trade in for a new model every few years like Larry King does. That’s what separates the rich from the truly rich. Real.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 8:04 PM PDT up reply actions
When hockey players are compared to other athletes of other sports make nothing but even if the guy pulls in 600K a year there are still plenty of places to stash your cash. Since they golden years are in his late 30’s for a hockey player (except Teemu, he still kicks ass) they need to start saving or putting their money to work at a younger age. It’s not like a golfer who has a senior tour to go on. Hockey players get about 15 years in the league. Even if the guy is pulling a six figure salary there are still plenty of options for him to save and be a "millionaire" when he hangs them up. The question is how does he want to retire and when. However a million bucks today isn’t worth close to what it was 20 years ago so he will have to plan for inflation with today’s dollars for tomorrow. This is "easy" to do if you start young and I hope that the Ducks organization has some good guys to talk to young players about this. If not they should. Yeah there are shady people out there but there are also so damn good ones as well.
Now to your second part. If they cease being rich gold diggers cash out and move on. Hence the name gold digger.
Disclaimer to the few calls from some of my friends in the Newport area: I wasn’t talking about you. Really…..
by Newport Rebel on Jun 7, 2010 9:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, first, as far as money planning, let’s put aside 65% for taxes and agent straightaway. Then you’re talking about a guy making 390,000 for a 10 year career, around 4 million. I’d round up, but the Ducks are a budget team, and if he plays for the Ducks the whole time, he probably will never see a significantly inflated paycheck. And IF he plays with the Ducks the entire time, he buys real estate in California, so he might need a big chunk of his money to buy that house and pay property taxes after his career is over. That might singlehandedly eat his NHL pension. So then you’re talking about someone with maybe 3 million and a nice house to show for his 10 year career and hope he doesn’t have any significant medical bills to cover for that period of time or god forbid, more than one child to pay for. Very few of these guys are set for life or anything, especially not the ones buying a nice house in California.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions
I agree that money goes away quickly. I’m sure it’s even worse in Canada. Most of these guys are not from the So Cal area so I’m not sure that most would want to retire in our expensive real estate market. If they do it is still possible. The problem with most households isn’t that they don’t have money to save but that they start doing it too late in life. Unlike the general population who have high debt (from college) and low income, these guys are getting take home lets say 300K usually by the time they are 21. Now you have 300 K take home for 10 – 15 years and you’re telling me they cant save up a ton of money? These guys agents should have financial planners watching their ever penny so that they are taken care of later in life. The medical bills are a if not the huge x factor though. Hockey is a brutal sport and some of these guys are going to be hurting later in life. Also until the NHLPA gets some power in the CBA these guys are on their own. They need to plan for it.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 7, 2010 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions
yeah, but planning is the problem. that’s what i’m talking about with Steve Rucchin. A lot of guys got taken in that investment scheme. High dollar players like Peca and Gonchar and guys trying to set aside money after a long career like Rucchin. Collectively they lost something like 25 million I think. So, yeah, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to make sure your money is working for you if all you know is hockey. A guy like Parros is well-qualified to go and do something else if he doesn’t sustain a head injury. And there are PLENTY of X factor injuries out there that result in medical bills. Just look at Aaron Ward getting yet another surgery in the twilight years of his life. Who knows if he’ll have to get more or if Parros will need another hand surgery after his career to make sure he can still use it? We’re talking about qualify of life surgeries, maybe, not life and death surgeries, but they’re surgeries nonetheless. Not all of these guys will have skills or name recognition to make any significant money after their playing careers. They won’t be as bad off as the superstars that lived through the Eagleson era, no doubt, but very few of them will be described as “rich” twenty years from now.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions
i meant twilight years of his career for Ward. Dude’s old, but not that old.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 7, 2010 10:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Rucchin and Co. got hosed no doubt. Just because they are athaletes doesn’t make them immune from the risk of investing or the chance of comming across shitty investors. However these guys shouldn’t be investing the whole nest egg anyways. All they need is a good F.A. and C.P.A. and they should be good but that is something they should hire right after signing their NHL contract. A good CPA can really help some of that money from going out the door via taxes. Asa for Parros. Parros was an econ major so I doubt he hasn’t planned for the future. As for planning for the future as to medical bills who knows? Without getting into a political debate (this is a sports blogs afterall) we will have to wait to see what the new heathcare sysyem looks like.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions
Haha, I like how you assume Michael Peca and Sergei Gonchar don’t have accountants or financial advisors. They totally do, and that’s the point. These schemes are taking in qualified professionals. And when you talk about CDO’s and the AIG plan to bet against CDO’s, you’re talking about qualified professionals on both sides of the investment, with one sitting pretty now and the other losing their shirts with everyone else. Investing a few million is NEVER a guarantee that you will be sustained as a millionaire for the next forty years.
And what makes these guys targets is that they have money to invest. Point is, and you can’t really get around this, these guys will not be considered rich in 20 years if they’re even considered rich now. The only guys that will be able to sustain “rich” status are the guys who made a significant amount of money, the guys who have name recognition, the guys who can get a job in the NHL or some other lucrative level of hockey or the guys who can find separate but gainful employment. Every member of this Ducks roster will not still be rich in 20 years; I don’t care if there’s a CPA, an FA and Scrooge McDuck himself on the case.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 8, 2010 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions
I should note that I’m descended from three generations of Econ professors and accountants, so there’s really no moving me off of the idea that a few million can be converted into a sustained 20 year fortune, much less a 40 year retirement fund.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 8, 2010 1:34 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m not saying that they should invest everything in order to secure long term wealth. There are a ton of risks with investing. You play in the market long enough and you will take a loss at some point. Not saying that you won’t get it back but that’s just how the market is. Im sure Peca and Gonchar had advisors or at least I hope to God they did but not all FA’s are the same. I have met quite a few in my time. Some are good and some are no better than snake oil peddlers. The thing is that these players will ahve to educate themselves on the matter and find the right FA. I’m not saying they should Lenny Dystra it either. There has to be a balance and these guys should be able to find it. 40 years is a long retirement though. Some guys will have to go into other things after hockey but the majority of them should and could be able to retire and live fairly well. No they wont be living the bling bling life style but they shouldn’t be in debt either.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 5:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, but your statement was that they would still be "rich" in 20 years. I’m saying that’s unlikely. Even with the soundest investment possible, you can’t convert a few million dollars into a fortune that would keep you living like a millionaire (i.e. the lifestyle that would attract a puck bunny) for the next 20 years after you retire from hockey. That’s the original thing you were ‘saying’ to the Ducks players. A guy like Getzlaf is certainly in a position to be drawing a million a year from his own saved and invested money during his retirement, but the only way Mike Brown is seeing that or even half of what he took home while he was playing 20 years from now is if he’s earning it on his own.
Again, you can’t convince me. If it was so simple to quintuple a retirement egg, then everyone, not just professional athletes, would retire at 33. Oh, and Mike Brown’s wife probably loves him. Real.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 8, 2010 7:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Well I guess it all depends on your definition of “rich.” By rich I mean living comfortably, house, cars, boats and “toys” paid off and enough money to live a good life. Not great not extravagant. As for these guys being millionaires. It’s possible for these guys to have a million bucks in the bank. The real question is will that million dollars have a value in today’s dollars and in the future years that they get paid? No these guys won’t be like the guys on ‘Entourage" but who does that in retirement anyways. Usually when someone stops working they cut their expenses. I know very few people that retired and still lived like kings unless they were the mega rich. Very few athletes are going to pull out million a year out when they retire. Doesn’t matter what sport they are in.
Also I know guys that retired at 40 with millions in the bank and debt free. It’s not imposible but you do have to start early. That is key. If you missed the boat you missed the boat.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 8:03 PM PDT up reply actions
If you’re retiring from a high six figure income at 40, you NEED millions in the bank. And if you’re saving at least 15% a year, you should have it. It’s poor financial planning to go any other way, not if you have a house to maintain and are interested in getting new “toys” to replace your current ones before you die.
In 20 years you will still be rich and your money will still be worth something (hopefully).Will Mike Brown be able to work a $40K job and live like he’s earning $100K for twenty years? Probably. But that doesn’t fall under “still be rich” to me, as it’s not comparable to the money he took home while he was playing. He will “still have money,” and definitely a nicer house than his then income would suggest, but he won’t “still be rich.”
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 8, 2010 8:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Well like everything in life, things don’t always apply to everyone. Some of the lower paid guys will get hosed. That’s why the NHLPA has to do a better job of getting some more leverage in the CBA’s. I understand what you are saying but I still think that these guys can still make the best out of the situation and still come out fairly comfy at the end of the day. Once again it comes to your definition of rich. I guess we will have to agree to disagree on this one.
Also how do you quote on SBNation?
by Newport Rebel on Jun 9, 2010 12:00 PM PDT up reply actions
they’ll definitely be fairly comfy. It’ll be like they’re collecting an annuity on a small lottery jackpot if you don’t count the physical setbacks they may experience from playing. But ‘still being comfy’ is different from ‘still being rich.’ And even the low end gold diggers won’t be looking for Brett Festerling in 20 years, ridiculous hair aside, though they may be looking for him now. In fact, knowing he may not have the money in 20 years, now might be the time for him to get a gold digger and live it up, just saying.
To quote on SBN, just hit the big blue open quotes button in the ‘post a reply’ window. That will give you access to the html code, and you can put your quote in between it. Alternatively, you can just type in the html code.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 9, 2010 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Who knows about Festerling? Maybe he will get a Wisniewski-esk type contract at some point.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 9, 2010 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions
I agree with the most of the above
i prefer my women in a jersey and jeans i find this more attractive than any dress, mini skirt, or tank top.
REAL SOVIET DAMAGE!!!!!
Dated a high-maintenance girl for awhile (the spoiled ones with like 4 different Louis Vitton purses to go with different shoes). Well last year she got me glass seats for the Ranger game. When she wears the old school Ducks white jersey (jade teal white) it was honestly the most attractive ive seen her. Sad really… Girls just don’t know what guys want.
Maybe if all guys were as clear as you Mudhippy, then I wouldn’t still be single! Haha!
This is why I think the Ducks should do a Singles Night. One of my friend’s met her husband at a Padres’ Singles Night. All girls in jerseys and guys that love girls in jerseys. Yet, I have a feeling it would end up being me (in my Getzy jersey) and 3409238402 old men.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
Haha! Get your head out of the gutter Arthur!!!
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
Sorry. Just having a ’that’s what she said’ afternoon I guess. Though a menage-a-trois-billion was worth a comment.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 9, 2010 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions
okay this is ridicolous the only way a hockey player will date you iis if you’re a babe……. jonas hiller and bobby ryan dont exactly go out with random people ya know
Bobby probably has his eye
on Jessica Simpson in the hopes that she can swing a sweet deal on Proactiv.
As for Jonas, that guy seems asexual to me. I can’t explain why, but he seems too quirky for sexual relations.
by PhantomPretender on Jun 8, 2010 3:46 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
he doesn’t need Proactiv, he needs someone to do something about that lisp. Oh, and maybe a dog, but I’m projecting there.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 8, 2010 4:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Have you seen Swiss girls? I highly doubt it.
by Newport Rebel on Jun 8, 2010 5:08 PM PDT up reply actions
nicely written article…ill have to keep up with this blog more often
ok puck bunnies are stupid and retarded ..the devil etc…but were still allowed to sleep with them right?…just not marry them..
spade: hey they puckbu…errr..uh hey there.. I heard you want to meet corey perry …I was just at his house
sipping my vodka tonic
without a famous hockey playing boyfriend
mental note taken:
shes likes vodka tonic..mmmk
dislikes guys who are famous hockey players…will choose to be famous basketball player instead….damn my slapshot was good
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 9, 2010 2:54 PM PDT reply actions
i was starting a story but I erased it..apparently not all of it…doooohh…i guess theres no edit button here either
p.s.
arthur is my puck bunny
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 9, 2010 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
p.s.
arthur is my puck bunny
That explains why you never bought me the drink you promised.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jun 9, 2010 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions
i didnt appreciate the lack of reach around sir!!! not one bit!!
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 9, 2010 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Haha. Excellent mental note.
I do like guys that are hockey players, buuuut I’m not so keen on the man-whores that are generally professional atheletes. They wouldn’t go for me anyways. I lack the assets
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
Anyone catch Kane’s comments tonight on ESPN following the win? I think someone is looking for some Puck Bunnies… Doh…
Are you referencing the part where he was told to “behave”? HA!
Two things Kane can now do because he won The Cup:
1) Bang every chick in Chicago (single or not)
2) Punch any cab drivers in the face without recourse. It is now considered a form of payment.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com
I’m talking about this interview.
A couple things to note:
1) His friends (I’m assuming those are his home boys) are the biggest douchebags ever. Wow…
2) Here’s the convo:
(Steve Levy) Whose got a better life than you do right now?
(Kane) I don’t know if anyone, it’s a… it’s probably hopefully there’s a lot of girls that like me. That’s a perk of being a professional athlete I guess.
(Levy) I’m pretty sure that’s not your biggest problem in life right now.
(Melrose) A lot of girls watch ESPN too so I think you’ll be ok.
Now, if he’s not looking to nail every chick he can get his hands on I don’t know what he’s planning on doing.
3) I can’t get over how douchey his home boys are. Good gracious. Such douchebags. Wow…
4) He actually doesn’t look too bad with the mullet. Though Melrose is still the king of the mullet. Hands down. No one will ever be able to pull it off like he does. I mean, when you can pull off ads like this, you know you’ve got it going on.
5) Those friends are douchebags. I can’t even wrap my head around it. My goodness…
Wow. He wasn’t attractive to me before, but that interview just knocked him down to Jeremy Roenick level (no attraction what-so-ever, I’d rather make out with vat of acid).
And agreed, those friends are douchebags. You can be 100% sure they’re going to take full advantage of Kane’s victory by banging his castoffs.
"I'm not a lady. I'm a DUCK!" - Connie Moreau, D2: Mighty Ducks
Writer for http://www.anaheimcalling.com















