Anaheim Calling Adds a Crunch Correspondent

MAGICS:

"Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way."

-- Marcel Proust

"Sometimes you just have to piss in the sink."

-- Charles Bukowski

Dear Ducks Fan,

You might be asking yourself "Who's the FNG?" Well, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Magic's Johnson, and I was recently asked to contribute to AC with recaps and notes about the Crunch. I am one of the creators and writers over at the resurrected Chairman How's Glorious Army, a site devoted to all things Crunch. After many years of red-headed-stepchild treatment at the hands of Columbus, all of us here in Syracuse are excited to have a decent partnership with a team that's actually won a playoff game in its existence. My role here is to keep you, the loyal Ducks fan, up to date on what's happening with your prospects this season.

Now, here's what you need to know about me and about your new affiliate:

ABOUT ME:

1. I tend to do most of my writing (both here and at my own site) late at night, usually with a bottle of Jameson's open on my desk.
2. If frequently occurring, creative uses of profanity upset you, you probably shouldn't visit my site. I promise to be good here, though.
3. Number 1 typically leads to number 2.
4. I am a lifelong Leafs fan. I've yet to decide if I'm a masochist or too dopey to find a new NHL team. It's probably a little bit of both, though.

ABOUT THE CRUNCH:

1. Crunch fans are just coming out of a long and one-sided relationship with Columbus, and we're very happy to be with the Ducks.
2. We like gritty, physical players. We also love truculence. See: Mirasty, Jon.
3. We don't like soft Russian crybabies or trainwreck goalies. See: Filatov, Nikita, Leclaire, Pascal.
4. We'd love to burn down the entire city of Rochester. And preferably salt the earth afterward.

That's about it, really. You'll find that we're an intensely loyal fanbase who pack a dilapidated building every night (and, on occasion, draw 21,000 people outside for a game) to support our guys. We've managed to see some pretty decent NHLers get their start in Syracuse, and we're excited to see the next group starting this fall. Most importantly, I'm very happy to be the newest contributor to AC, and I'm excited to see where this new marriage leads.

You can visit The Chairman's at chairmanhowsgloriousarmy.com, and follow us on Twitter @chairmanhows.

Here's to a great season for us all!