AC's Secret Santa: Did Someone Say Fire? SK's gift to Earl

by SK eleven on Dec 21, 2011 3:00 PM PST in AC Secret Santa

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Next up, not-Saku-Koivu, Ms. SK11 and her gift to master chorale singer (and the smartest one at Battle of California), Earl Sleek.]

I was lucky enough to get the fine Mr. Earl Sleek as my secret Festivus recipient. I searched high and low for the right gift. Something that said, "Earl, you’re important to me and I want you to have something special and meaningful on this joyous occasion." I wanted Earl to know that I thought long and hard about what that perfect gift would be and I believe that I found just the thing. I wanted to make sure it was something personal and something that would come of great use to him...

A fire pit.

Now, I know, that doesn’t seem all that special or useful, except for the fact that it has been unreasonably cold here in Southern California lately, but I wanted to make sure that he’d put that fire to good use. I searched high and low to find the perfect hearth so that I could present Earl with a fine gift of blazing fire, for roasting marshmallows, or something.

I went out and got the necessities, marshmallows and skewers for grilling. But really, what I was more concerned about was the fuel with which he would burn his fire. What would get those flames glowing red hot and furious?

Regular wood? Boring. Paper? Burns too fast.

My next thought was that he should sacrifice that damn green lucky shirt he always wears to the games because we all know how LUCKY that has been. But then it hit me…that won’t brew a fire like this bad boy…

Ahhh, there’s nothing like the smell of fine synthetic fabrics burning in the evening, is there? I’ll admit, this is a purely selfish gift, as it’s definitely something Earl and I can enjoy together! Besides, I'm sure there are a bunch of things Earl would love to burn in his new fire. Ryan Getzlaf's captaincy and the Ducks 2011-12 season might be a start!