Fun With Conspiracy Theories: Sushi Curse

JEN:

These past few months in the hockey world have been tough. I think it's time for a little distraction, and remember the simple things that make us laugh. Like, conspiracy theories that are built off of the results of charity sushi rolling events involving members of your favorite hockey team.

This coming Monday, September 12th, the Ducks will be having their 3rd Annual "Ducks in a Roll" contest at Ra Sushi in the Tustin District. Yours truly will be in attendance, along with Ryan Getzlaf, Bobby Ryan, and new Duck Andrew Cogliano. The guys, along with a fan, will be creating sushi rolls for guests and judges. The winning roll will be featured on Ra's menu at all Southern California locations. $2 from each roll purchased throughout the season will be donated to the Anaheim Ducks Foundation. Hooray charity!

Ok, now that we've got the boring stuff out of the way, it's time for the conspiracy theory. The Ducks player that creates the winning roll is...waiiit for it...CURSED! Why do you ask? After the jump, you'll find the reason to start wearing your tinfoil hat this Monday.

The inaugural event pitted four veterans against each other - Scott Niedermayer, Saku Koivu, Mike Brown, and James Wisniewski. The winner of the event was the newly re-signed James Wisniewski with his "Big Wisniewski" roll. Wonderful! Come the end of the season that followed his win, Wiz was up for a new contract. Still riding the high of sushi domination, he was expecting a large raise after a season that saw him suspended a few times for unnecessary headshots on a couple players. It might be painful too remind you that we traded Sammy Pahlsson for this guy... On July 30th, Wizniewski signed a one-year deal with the Ducks and THE SAME DAY was traded to the Islanders for a 2011 draft pick. (That draft pick resulted in the Ducks selecting current rookie, Joseph Cramarossa.) Winner, winner, Wizniewski banished to NYC for winter.

The second event was full of fresh faces. Corey Perry, Sheldon Brookbank, and Troy Bodie represented their team. The soon-to-be-named Captain, Ryan Getzlaf was scheduled to appear as well, but was reportedly recovering from having his wisdom teeth removed and could not attend. (For those of you laughing at this, you probably haven't had your wisdom teeth removed. I have not had a child, but I can only assume it is significantly less painful than the having my wisdom teeth extracted. I took three days off from work, but ended up needing a week because I got lockjaw - dirty minds - from the surgery.) I don't know how Getzlaf ended up making a roll, but Todd Marchant was there with son/judge Timmy, and spoke on Getzlaf's behalf. That was all for naught as Troy Bodie's "Bodie"licious roll won. Bodie, one of the fan-friendliest Ducks, would only see 9 games in a Ducks uniform the upcoming season. In November, Troy was put on waivers and was claimed by the Carolina Hurricanes. Buh-bye Bodie.

Here we are, just days away from the event, only to read that two of our three superstar players would be playing chef at Ra. I don't know about you guys, but based on my findings, I am hoping that Cogliano or the fan win. I'll post pictures from the event when I get home. If you want to figure out who I am from the pictures, I'll be the one in the tinfoil hat.