S#*! Announcers Say: NHL Playoffs Round 1

The regular 'Keeper of the Cup' was unable to make it. His credit card was declined.

So I've got a lot more time on my hands since the Ducks aren't in playoffs. Instead of furiously writing (or whipping the AC staff until they write) about the Ducks, I can actually sit back and enjoy one of the best times of the year. Thanks to NBC and the NHL's deal to air every single game, I've watched every one.

Being able to see every game is a huge step forward for the NHL. It's a great way to introduce new fans to the game before a lockout and give all of us fans a reason NOT to whine about the games we can't see. There is a downside, though - the announcers. Oh how they drive me crazy.

Instead of getting angry at the asinine things they say, I decided to keep a log of some of the most ridiculous statements made during games. I thought of this brilliant idea late into the first round, so I don't have as many as I would like; however, I'll keep this up straight through the end of the Stanley Cup Final. These are taken from the in-game teams because I can't stand the intermission guys. I usually mute the TV.

Let's get going!

Game 6: Washington at Boston. Broadcast Team: Doc Emrick, Eddie Olczyk & Pierre McGuire

-- "Potpourri of opportunities for the ref to make that call" - Pierre McGuire

Game 5: Los Angeles at Vancouver. Broadcast Team: Bob Miller, Jim Fox & Patrick O'Neil

-- "He's quicker without his appendix" - Bob Miller

-- "Bob Miller get on my back, you're gonna be carried out of here!" -- Jim Fox

Game 5: New York at Ottawa. Broadcast Team: Brian Hayward & someone...

-- "If that's on, it's in." - Brian Hayward [This is one of my least favorite Hazy expressions.]

Game 5: Phoenix at Chicago. Broadcast Team: Brian Engblom & Dave Strader

-- "There was a forcefield at Phoenix's blueline and Phoenix couldn't get out" - Brian Engblom [Perhaps a 'glass case of emotion' would have been a better analogy.]

Game 6: Florida at New Jersey. Broadcast Team: Kenny Albert & Pierre McGuire

-- "Kenny, don't you get the feeling that Florida is playing rope-a-dope with these two goals?" - Pierre McGuire

-- "Gosh" - Kenny Albert [saying Marcel Goc's name incorrectly the ENTIRE game]

-- "Gord Miller couldn't go to the bathroom the whole time" - Pierre McGuire

Game 7: Washington at Boston. Broadcast Team: Doc Emrick, Eddie Olczyk & Pierre McGuire

-- "Keep your stick on the ice, open your mouth, and get back to the bench." - Eddie Olczyk

-- "Hey Eddie, Mrs. McGuire gave me my allowance." - Pierre McGuire

Game 7: Ottawa at New York. Broadcast Team: Doc Emrick, Eddie Olczyk & Pierre McGuire

-- "Eddie, that's when you need to save your ammunition and fight another day. I know you like that saying." - Pierre McGuire [Eddie completely ignores him]

-- (Exception to in-game team rule) "You don't play for Madrid Real" - Mike Milburry [He makes me want to punch myself in the face.]

Game 7: New Jersey at Florida. Broadcast Team: Brian Engblom & Dave Strader

-- "They're the team behind. They would like some momentum." - Brian Engblom

-- "Those marks will turn a beautiful blue and yellow. You'll look like you got run over by a Mack Truck and you'll enjoy every minute of it." - Brian Engblom

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