Group Therapy: One More For The Road

USA TODAY Sports

I guess it’s time for us to take one last trip to the couch, lie back and unload all of the crap for one last therapy session.

Is the wound still too fresh? When does "too soon" end? I know it lasts longer than the handshake line, cause I was clearly not over it then (site previous post) and I can’t even pretend I’m over it now. But, we must go on.

So, here it is, my last rant before I ride off into the sunset with my golf clubs in hand - never to return. I hope that Jen will invite me back from time to time to participate in the snarky post editions as I would love to participate and give my "who the hell are you?" two cents. It’s just too bad I’m only retiring from blogging and not my real job.

WHAT. THE. H-E-double hockey sticks…?:

Corey Perry, please, I hope you tell ONE person that you’re glad you signed an $8+million dollar extension before the post season began. Oh, you’re "money" alright.

Jonas Hiller…hey….buddy………how……..are…….you…….? Everything………..ok……..? Moving……..a…….bit…….slow……out…..there……….Oops, and just like that another puck slips by!

Bobby Ryan, I always found the love/hate relationship with you to be exhausting, now I just find you to be exhausting. I’m sure you’ll light up the Honda Center next season…I just think it will be AGAINST Anaheim.

Bryan Allen, congratulations on not being my least favorite defenseman at the end of the season. That honor went to Sheldon Souray, who proved to be just as worthless as everyone said he would be. Apparently holding the blue-line isn’t for everyone.

Anaheim, if only you hadn’t used up all of that luck and "we had no business winning that game" good fortune from the beginning of the season, we might be having a different conversation right now. It’s a real shame too, cause, early on in this season, when you were impressive, you would have massacred that Detroit Red Wings team. Hell, you could have, but apparently someone, or many someones, turned off the switch. Next season, right?

…and finally a few thanks:

Ryan Getzlaf, for impressing the hell out of me…for a change! I feel like you were a solid player who showed us what you’re made of. I just wish it didn’t take a five year span to witness what you’re truly made of. And to think, I know you could have given us a lot more.

Viktor Fasth, for relieving those of us not on Team Hiller. I really wish you were given a chance in the post season, but I look forward to next season.

Emerson Etem, for shocking the hell out of me. I was worried you wouldn’t make it in the NHL. I honestly didn’t expect you to be more than a funny skater who was lucky enough to represent southern California. I’m thrilled to see you’re so much more than that. I really hope you continue to grow and blossom in Anaheim.

The kids, you all stepped up this season when we all worried so much about the forward depth of this team.

Francois Beauchemin, I’m sorry for the unfortunate lack of media attention dedicated to the West and for those who completely blanked when it came to Norris trophy nominations. You are an obvious leader on this team, and I hope you’re rewarded with more next season.

Teemu Selanne, for allowing me the opportunity to see a true legend in my lifetime. I’ve said it before, but this time I think this is right: It’s time for you to hang them up.

Nick Bonino, I thought they were crazy giving you a new number this season. HA! I’m so happy you proved me wrong.

Cam Fowler, while yes, you still have a long way to go, I feel these playoffs showed a lot of people that you are on your way to being an incredible offensive defenseman. I’ll remove you from my favorite player list, as I fear that put clearly put a jinx on your back and placed a dark cloud over your season. My apologies.

Jen, who really gave me an amazing opportunity to be a part of this blossoming giant here at Anaheim Calling. The freedom to express myself about hockey has been incredible and I wish Jen and the entire staff at AC the best of luck!

Now and forever, GO DUCKS!!!

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