[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies gave each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. To close out this festive occasion, our favorite Ivy Leaguer not named George Parros, Kristen, gives a humongous big gift to District 5 Hockey MVP, Chris. ]

I have not had the pleasure of meeting Chris personally, but he has documented his hockey-related likes and dislikes in various places on the interwebs. He's cool because his hockey fandom predates the Ducks (if you read his SB Nation bio, you'll learn that he became a hockey fan after watching the 1993 Stanley Cup Finals). And like me, he's also a fan of the NHL in general.

I wanted to give him a gift that reflected a significant moment in both the history of the Ducks and the history of the NHL. A gift that would remind us all of better days. And I found this on eBay:

As you can see, it's a signed photo of Ilya Bryzgalov holding the Stanley Cup in 2007. Why Bryz? He was a backup goalie then, and he's not a Duck now. But Chris knows why I chose this. As an NHL fan, he knows that Bryz - king of the rambling rant - is the breakout star of HBO's 24/7 Flyers/Rangers: Road to the Winter Classic. And the picture reminds all of us that we were the first California team to grasp Lord Stanley's Cup. Something that Gretzky's Kings couldn't do. It reminds us of a time when we actually, you know, won things.

Merry Bryzmas, Chris!

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Next up, Ms. Neale puts a gift for Duck Buddy, Ryan from Puck Buddys under the Festivus pole.]

Of all the people that write for us, there isn't one person I feel worse for right now than our Duck Buddy, Ryan. You see, Ryan's partner, Peter, is a huge Boston Bruins fan and writes about them on Puck Buddys. Obviously, the Ducks and Bruins are having polar opposite seasons. Seeing as they watch both teams' games together so they can write their posts, I felt the only right thing I could do is to intervene and save their relationship during the hockey season with my Christmas gift basket.

When my team is losing, there is nothing I hate more than hearing about the success of other teams, especially those of my friends and family. I can't imagine it's very easy for Ryan to have to listen to the Bruins announcers go on and on about how awesome the Bruins are. So, to make things a little easier, the first gift of the gift basket is Ducks orange, noise cancelling headphones. He can watch the game without having to hear the joy in the Bruins annoucers voices.

Oh I'm not done. Bruins games are on usually around 4-4:30pm here in California and end right before Ducks games start. So while Ryan is watching - not listening - to the Bruins games, he needs to mentally prepare himself for the upcoming Ducks game. The final gift in my gift basket is a large selection of alcohol for your to drink. That way, you won't have to remember any of the games!

It's a long season, try to make this last until at least the All Star break.

Mele Kalikimaka,

Jen

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Next up, the hockey-dad-to-be Chris and his gift for our Duckling Buddy and Chief Crunchologist, Alex from CHGA. ]

via www.icejerseys.com

When I drew Alex for Secret Santa, my first thought was that I wouldn't get her anything Ducks related for two reasons. First, she isn't a Ducks fan by nature, which is a gift in and of its self this season, and second, because the Ducks aren't in the habit of hanging on to their AHL affiliates for much longer than a Christmas tree will stay fresh in your living room.

When thinking of Syracuse and hockey gifts, my mind immediately turned to the 1977 cult classic Slap Shot. The film was partially shot in Syracuse and in the epic climax the Chiefs take on their hated rivals, the Syracuse Bulldogs. Naturally a Bulldogs jersey is the perfect gift for the die-hard Syracuse hockey fan.

But whose jersey should it be? Ogiltorpe? (Thorp, Ogil-THorpe) No, too obvious. Andre "Poodle" Lussier? The movie comes right out and tells me "Not Poodle!" Plus who could support Poodle while he lives in semi-seclusion in Northern Quebec after the unfortunate Denny Pratt tragedy?

Lanny McDonald lookalike Gilmore Tuttle? Sam "Mad Dog" Madison? Clarence "Screaming Buffalo" Swamptown? They were all just ringers; Mugs, pugs, thugs; Nitwits, halfwits, dimwits; Muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers; ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and METHODISTS! Wait ... I'm mixing up my classic ‘70s comedies.

Clearly the only option was Tim "Dr. Hook" McCracken or, as Reg Dunlop called him, "The coach and chief puck of that Syracuse team." As legend has it he was so named because of his scalpel like prowess with the stick and he has been known to carve a man's eye out with the flick of his wrsit. If that doesn't get you in the Christmas spirt, I don't know what will.

So there you have it Alex, your very own Tim McCracken jersey, as a nod to Syracuse's unique place in hockey lore and something spiffy to wear around the rink for some street cred.

Happy Hockey Holidays!

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Next up, the AC rookie Ryan from Puck Buddys and his foreboding gift to our darling SK.]

As the new kid on the block contributing to AC I must admit I do not know SK very well yet. But I do know she knows her hockey, and her grades of the team over at DucksandPucks.com during the off-season show’s her scouting and knowledge of what our beloved Ducks need.

So for her Secret Santa gift I give her two tickets to the CHL/NHL top prospects game February 1^st in Kelowna, British Columbia. The game features 40 of the top prospects eligible for 2012 NHL entry draft. Let’s all face it, as much as we all want to wear Earl Sleek's Inverted Standings Glasses, the fact is we sit in 2^nd to last in the league. At some point in the season we are going to start needing to paying attention to those prospects, and I cannot think of a better person to scout for us than SK11. We may be looking at getting an even better prospect then when we drafted Cam Fowler at #12 in 2010.

Besides the high skilled youth that will be on display, I cannot think of a more entertaining pair of coaches - Bobby Orr and Don Cherry. I am sure they will both be wearing a great suit, though Bobby’s will probably be a bit more understated. (Have to expect a fashion comment from the Gay hockey blogger - jk). Either way enjoy!

Hopefully the scouting will be all for not and the season gets turned around now!

MERRY DUCKMAS!

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Next up, not-Saku-Koivu, Ms. SK11 and her gift to master chorale singer (and the smartest one at Battle of California), Earl Sleek.]

I was lucky enough to get the fine Mr. Earl Sleek as my secret Festivus recipient. I searched high and low for the right gift. Something that said, "Earl, you’re important to me and I want you to have something special and meaningful on this joyous occasion." I wanted Earl to know that I thought long and hard about what that perfect gift would be and I believe that I found just the thing. I wanted to make sure it was something personal and something that would come of great use to him...

A fire pit.

Now, I know, that doesn’t seem all that special or useful, except for the fact that it has been unreasonably cold here in Southern California lately, but I wanted to make sure that he’d put that fire to good use. I searched high and low to find the perfect hearth so that I could present Earl with a fine gift of blazing fire, for roasting marshmallows, or something.

I went out and got the necessities, marshmallows and skewers for grilling. But really, what I was more concerned about was the fuel with which he would burn his fire. What would get those flames glowing red hot and furious?

Regular wood? Boring. Paper? Burns too fast.

My next thought was that he should sacrifice that damn green lucky shirt he always wears to the games because we all know how LUCKY that has been. But then it hit me…that won’t brew a fire like this bad boy…

Ahhh, there’s nothing like the smell of fine synthetic fabrics burning in the evening, is there? I’ll admit, this is a purely selfish gift, as it’s definitely something Earl and I can enjoy together! Besides, I'm sure there are a bunch of things Earl would love to burn in his new fire. Ryan Getzlaf's captaincy and the Ducks 2011-12 season might be a start!

Happy Festivus, Earl!

All my love, your secret Santa, SK!

P.S. You'll have to excuse my drawings - I don't have a scanner or...drawing abilities!

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Now up, the second half of AC's dysfunctional duo, "Get off my lawn" Daniel gifts Bobby Robby Ryan.]

If my hate of Bobby Murray is easily and readily knowable, then so to is Robby's love of Bobby Ryan. Far be it for me to judge the feelings that Robby has for Bobby; I'm sure I at one time held a similar sentiment for Teemu during his first go round with the Ducks. However, we all know how that turned out. I'm looking at you Gauthier. Still, with all the rumors swirling around Bobby Ryan just s a few weeks ago, and the Ducks ever spiraling decent into the depths of the NHL standings, I wanted to prepare Robby, should the worst happen. That's why I got him this get out of jail free card so that he can return to his family after he kills Bob Murray.

via www.adena.com

I originally wanted to transform this into some kind of fancy card that would allow Robby a one-time void of any Bobby Ryan deal, but I'm as computer literate as my students are real literate. I also thought that it would be really impractical since, as fans, we'd never be allowed to voice our opinions on what we think this organization should do. Still, I think I've got Robby's back on this one. Murray will inevitably get hosed in a Bobby Ryan trade, and Robby will inevitably, and maybe rightfully, kill him for doing so. Therefore, I got Robby this fancy get out of jail free card. I chose this one because the jail kind of looks like a mental institution, which is the other possible destination for Robby after such a trade. Merry Christmas Robby, here's to hoping Bobby Ryan can stay a Duck for at least one more season!

P.S.: Dear Mr. Murray, these posts are meant to be humorous. I'm sure Robby would never due anything like try to kill you. However, should you trade Bobby Ryan, I am not libel for any season ticket canceling, picketing, or any other bodily harm that the fans might do to you...just saying.

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Now up, Battle of California cartoonist (and occasional Ducks blogger) Earl Sleek.]

Merry Duckmas, everybody! This is actually my second straight year participating in the ACSS, and just like last year, I somehow got assigned AC's headmaster -- last year Arthur, and this year Jen.

So Jen, in the spirit of holiday inventiveness (plus a crippling laziness when it comes to web hunting and other such tasks), here's your completely made-up gift:

Magical Anaheim Ducks Standings-Inverting Glasses!

Too good to be true? You betcha! But read on anyways!

Continue reading this post »

[Ed. Note: Every day this week, the AC Staff and a few Duck Buddies will be giving each other Ducks related Secret Santa gifts. Up next is Anaheim Calling's dysfunctional duo. Bobby Ryan fanboy Robby bequeaths a gift upon neighborhood curmudgeon Daniel. ]

It's a Christmas miracle: Daniel and I are exchanging gifts. I'm sure this was TOTALLY serendipitous.

I kid, of course. I may disagree vehemently with him about everything, but there's no arguing that the man knows his hockey. He's been through worse seasons than the one we're currently witnessing, but enough is enough. The man deserves to get at least one of his wishes fulfilled.

That's where I come in. Without further ado, I give you Daniel's gift.

Since I'm not a Photoshop whiz, it may be tough to figure out who exactly this voodoo doll depicts. But the suit should be a hint. If only I could have found a doll that came with his own barstool.

I wanted to give Daniel a Bob Murray voodoo doll for two reasons. Not only does Daniel deserve the the opportunity to right Murray's wrongs, but I'm also legitimately curious to see how he'd use this new-found power. Would he force the Ducks GM to pull off a miracle trade for for Shea Weber by shipping off Bobby Ryan? Or would he take the safer route by forcing Murray to prank-call the Samuellis every five minutes until they fire him? Only Daniel knows.

Merry Christmas, Daniel. The next Mexican Coke is on me.