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Armchair GM: SK's Fire Sale Core Player Trades

[Ed. Note: All weekend, the AC staff will be trading the same five core players for another team(s) core player(s) of equal value. Thanks for forcing us to write this, Bob Murray.]

I just wanted to state that I am completely disgusted we are even doing this activity. Not because I think it’s a bad idea - it’s definitely fun - but because I find it revolting that the Ducks are so bad that it has come to us playing these types of games. (Which will likely turn into a twist of reality for someone, probably sooner than later.) Dammit, Anaheim…what is your problem?!

A trade for a trade, eye for an eye. I wonder if it would be breaking the rules to trade Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry AND Bobby Ryan for the Sedin Twins. Not ok? Fine, lets just throw in Ryan Kessler so that it’s 3 for 3. DONE!

Cam Fowler for Jordan Eberle

I had a hard time coming up with someone that I thought would constitute a fair trade for Fowler. So I went with someone who I thought was going to continue to blossom just as we, or any one, should expect from the youngster. Fowler is definitely struggling this season, but what player aside from that 41 year-old is actually doing anything worth wild? We’ve seen what Fowler is actually capable of, and there is no doubt in my mind he will only get better. I think the same goes for Eberle and, if I had to chose an Edmonton youngster, I’d pick him over that pompous Taylor Hall any day. Plus, I have a thing for that crazy gapped tooth smile he’s got. Sue me.

Corey Perry for Steven Stamkos

With all of that blindingly white/blonde facial hair - those two are easily swappable. The way I look at it, if we’re comparing players here, there is a chance the Ducks might be getting the better end of the stick. I love Perry don’t get me wrong (he’s my God), but since Steven Stamkos has busted through the wall of talent, he’s yet to miss a stride. Last years leading goal scorer swapped out for the next best goal scorer? Sounds like a win to me. Plus, Stamkos has rosier cheeks is a better skater.

Bobby Ryan for Shea Weber

I wanted to find a bona fide left wing to replace Ryan - who I will still claim is a right wing until I’m blue in the face - but I went with a desperate to fill a hole on the blue line instead. Plus, I’ll be surprised if any of us find a way to NOT trade for Shea Weber. The guy is a beast through and through, and we all witnessed the Ducks fall to he and the Nashville Predators last season. Any team who adds Weber is instantly better in a heartbeat, no doubt. Plus, the Predators would be getting Ryan who is slightly younger and possesses that offensive output that Nashville always seems to be looking for.

Ryan Getzlaf for Scott Hartnell, Henrik Sedin, Ryan Carter

What Getzlaf are we trading here? The Getzlaf that was drafted and played through the 2007-08 season? The Getzlaf that he COULD be with a bit of effort and desire? Or the Getzlaf we have right now? If I’m trading the Getzlaf of yesterday, Scott Hartnell seems a fair swap. [Ed. Note: Written before Friday's game.] If I’m trading the Getzlaf in my fantasy world, send Henrik Sedin over ASAP. If we’re trading the Getzlaf of right now…I hear Ryan Carter is with New Jersey, and he’d be an upgrade (that’s not meant to be a slap in the face to Carter - I was a big fan).

H for M, Jonas Hiller for Ryan Miller

When those rumors started flying around, my brain started flying with the thought of it. Right now I’d take my 5’0’’ tall best friend for Hiller. Dan Ellis for Hiller would also be a great swap (DO IT)! The fact is, Hiller’s got some health issues, and so does Miller, but both were also at the top of their game just a short time ago. It’s possible that a change in scenery might help both out a bit.

Bob Murray for SK

I’m serious. I think my mom could do a better job than that guy