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Armchair GM: Chris' Fire Sale Core Player Trades

[Ed. Note: All weekend, the AC staff will be trading the same five core players for another team(s) core player(s) of equal value. Thanks for forcing us to write this, Bob Murray.]

Dear Bob Murray,

Please do not sell off the entire roster. These are not bad players. They are just having the worst year ever. Getting rid of them will not do anything to salvage this season and will likely only cause damage to the organization in the future, especially as the only decent players this season become free agents and/or retire this summer. But I guess if you have to do something drastic, below are my preferences.

Thanks for listening,

Chris Kober

Ryan Getzlaf for Eric Staal

I’ll admit I didn’t technically come up with this one on my own. Lisa Dillman of the LA Times tweeted (@reallisa) the following on Jan 3 after Jeff Miller’s OC Register story on why the Ducks should trade Getzlaf:

"Props to @jeffmillerOCR for putting it out there re/Ryan Getzlaf needing to be traded. Eric Staal, anyone? #carolinaonourmind"

I’m not on the bandwagon to actually trade any of these guys, but there isn’t anything closer to equal value for Getzy than the eldest Staal.

Getzlaf: 6’4" 221; Staal: 6’4" 205

Getzlaf: Drafted 2003 19th overall; Staal: Drafted 2003 2nd Overall

Getzlaf: .284 G/GP, .657 A/GP, .940 P/GP; Staal: .432 G/GP, .530 A/GP, .962 P/GP

Plus both are centers and both have had atrocious seasons so far this year. Staal is a bit more of a finisher rather than a playmaker so he won’t match up with Corey Perry as nicely, but that’s how it goes when you split up guys that (usually) have wonder twin powers.

On second thought, look at that cap hit on Staalsie, $8.25 Million. $9.5 million CASH in 2015-16 … Yikes!

Corey Perry for Evgeni Malkin

Like Jen, I can’t believe that Perry isn’t on the untouchable list, but I can only hope that if Murray is going to deal him it would have to be for a doozy. I’d never suggest the Penguins trade Sidney Crosby (although he would be here anyway if it wasn’t for those damned ping pong balls) so next on the list is Malkin.

This trade is also predicated on the belief that Getzlaf can get his act together. If he could figure out a way to go on without Perry, the Ducks would have a nasty one/two punch up the middle.

Bobby Ryan for Jordan Staal

I am also stealing this one from a commenter either here or on BoC on a post over the summer. Sorry I don’t remember who. If it was you, feel free to take credit in the comments below. My first thought upon reading it was "Holy Crap I’d do that in a millisecond!" My second was "That would never happen."

Sure the Pens could use a potential superstar winger to play alongside Sid, but 1) they built up the middle for a reason (It’s the correct way to build an offensive hockey team) and 2) way too much uncertainty over Sid’s concussion to start throwing away that kind of ridiculous depth.

While I love Jordan Staal as you can see from this article I wrote a couple months back for Hockeytalk (although it gets pretty corny at the end) I’m not one of the people who thinks he can be dropped into any other team in the league and immediately become their number one center. He is however, the ultimate second or third line center. The dude does absolutely everything you could ask of him offensively or defensively.

He would be the second coming of Sammy Pahlsson with a better scoring touch, and Getzlaf could work things out alongside his best buddy.

Jonas Hiller for Ryan Miller (Hey that rhymes)

Is Hiller the problem for this team? No. He is one of many, but he’s down the list past lack of depth scoring, unproductive top line and an awkward combination of inexperienced, aging and awful defense.

All I know about Igor Bobkov and Josh Gibson is that neither is even close to ready for the NHL, so I’d have to trade Hiller for a goalie.

I have this pet theory that with the heightened expectations of Pegula-palooza in Buffalo, Ryan Miller is now the Eastern Conference’s answer to Roberto Luongo. Both are generally outstanding goaltenders, but have their shaky streaks. Each has a fantastic backup waiting to take the reins behind him and with any minor slip up the fans and media come within an inch of running the starter out of town.

So I’m calling your bluff, Buffalo. You think Jonas Enroth is so great? Give us Ryan Miller: American Hero. We’ll take $2 million off your cap and leave you with a proven NHL starter in case your existing goalie named Jonas doesn’t work out.

Your move Mr. Regier.

Bonus: I’ve heard some rumors around the world wide interweb that Miller wants to move to the West Coast to be with his wife, Actress Janet Jones Noureen DeWulf.

Cam Fowler for PK Subban

This is the most difficult because we’re dealing with so much potential talent and so little actualized talent when talking about Cam Fowler, it’s almost like handling a prospect at this point of his career (also because I absolutely LOVE to watch that boy skate).

My first thought was maybe Jordan Eberle, because the Oilers need some D and we need some offense, but I’d be content if the Ducks never made another trade with Edmonton again, or Toronto for that matter.

I landed on Subban because I wanted to include a defenseman in my acquisitions list and he plays with some serious jam. He’s undoubtedly further along in his development than Fowler is, but PK has only played 3 more NHL games than Cam, and still has some growing up to do himself.

I also like that he has some personality. He gets a TON of shit for it, but adding a little spice to the roster might be fun. Also it would be good for the Ducks/Kings rivalry since he and Mike Richards despise each other.

Finally picking up Subban would be just the latest in a string of moves in which the Ducks acquire players that the rest of the league can’t stand for one reason or another: Perry, Pronger, Ruutu, Lapierre, Ellis, Subban. Heck of a starting lineup for the All-Douche Bag Team, eh?

That was fun, but again, for the record, I hope none of this actually happens, except that Bobby for Jordan Staal thing. That would be awesome!