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Anaheim Ducks Group Therapy: For the Other 16 Teams

Uh, yeah. We know.
Uh, yeah. We know.

I love watching playoff hockey when the Ducks aren’t involved. No stress, no headaches, no panic or worry of that do-or-die feeling of the next game. No sweaty palms and near death afternoon heart attacks. Gee, I sure sound sexy right now, don’t I?

Oh Lord Stanley…I sure do miss that playoff stress. Damn you Ducks! Anyway, there’s a lot of therapy needed around the NHL right now, and I can’t pretend that I miss wondering how many games the guy wearing an Anaheim jersey might get, so I will be grateful the Ducks aren’t involved in this ever growing drama of playoff suspensions.

So lets discuss the awful drama surrounding 16 other teams for a change, shall we?

Vancouver CaSUCKS!

Alright, so Daniel Sedin makes his way back into the lineup and the world according to the 'Nuck starts to look a little better, but...dude, what the f-bomb is wrong with you Vancouver?! I don’t exactly want you to win the Stanley Cup, but I was really hoping you’d man handle the Kings a little better than this and I was DEFINITELY hoping you’d curb their growing confidence, not BOOST it! What the f-bomb are you thinking?! Seriously, up until Game 4, it was difficult to even say you deserved that stupid Presidents Trophy. Get your act together because your time is running out and I really hate to see all this celebrating so close to home. Although, the front page of this mornings sports section was awesome though. Show me that ugly sight of disappointment more often, Captain Brown! It begs the question, if the Ducks had squeaked into 8th, would they have given Vancouver a run for their money like this?

The 2012 War of Pennsylvania

I sure thought the return of Sidney Crosby would mean a lot for the Pens, but it turns out all it meant was a big, fat mute button on Evgeny Malkin. 'Knock Knock' (it’s a great song!), I don’t think Geno is home. Thankfully the West side of Penn state has something to celebrate this morning because the 10-3 smothering of the Flyers was a huge swing of momentum for the Pens. I don't know how the remainder of the post season can possible compare to this series though. The fighting, the drama off the ice (we hate you both, too!), and the insane amount of goals scored can't possibly be replicated. If the NHL wanted to boost offense, they got their wish in Marc-Andre Fleury and Ilya Bryzgalov. Keep up the crappy net minding fellas. Kinda makes you wonder what's going to happen for whichever team makes it past this round, doesn't it?

Suspensions Galore…

The playoffs are seeing what is a record number of player suspensions. I don’t know if this is because of the increase of intensity (and stupidity) or because Brendan Shanahan missed one of the biggest suspensions of all and now players are intentionally pressing their luck. Jen has already spoken up about the lack of time off for Shea Weber, but since then Shanny is busy answering the phone on countless of other issues. The biggest being Raffi Torres' huge hit on Marian Hossa. I'll simply state it this way - not cool, at all. That was an awful, brutal hit and it's not a surprise to hear he's been suspended indefinitely. Seeing Hossa taken off the ice in a stretcher sure makes me miss the "did he or didn't he bite his finger" drama from last seasons playoffs. Quick, someone yank on Scott Hartnell's wig again!

It wouldn't be the playoffs without all the drama and, as much as I wish the Ducks were playing some extra hockey right now, I can't help but be grateful they aren't apart of these crazy discussions. We all know the wearing of an Anaheim jersey is enough to catch the eye of the suspension holder.

Hold on tight folks! This playoff madness is just getting started!