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Because We Have No Right to Joke ... (i.e. We Hate the Kings)

"Two Halftimes" - Because It's The Cup (via NHLVideo)

As you probably already know, the NHL has launched a new ad campaign for the playoffs this year titled "Because It's The Cup." The generic version above is truly atrocious. "Because hockey has two half times."

SERIOUSLY!?!? What does that even MEAN?!

Not only is that idiotic it isn't even a selling point. However, the League's marketing department makes up for that abomination with team customized versions like this one for the Blackhawks:

Kane and Toews - Because It's The Cup (via NHLVideo)

It isn't quite up to the standard of the "No Words" ad from 2010, "Cup Raise" from the prior year or even the endlessly parodied "History Will be Made" series of the past two seasons, but the individual versions strike a certain chord.

They haven't officially clinched a spot yet, but with the Kings leading the Pacific the NHL is getting prepared. Via some unnamed and unsavory sources, Anaheim Calling has acquired the script to the top secret Kings version.

Fade In

Shot of Marcel Dion

"Because it's been 45 years..."

Shot of Rogie Vachon

Montage of terrible Kings goalies (Cloutier, Cechmanek, Fukufuji)

Shot of Quick

"Because you finally have a Goalie..."

Shot of the Frenzy on Figueroa

Shot of sad Kings fans

"Because you haven't won a series in a decade..."

Montage of Ducks hoisting the Cup (Teemu, Niedermayer, Jiggy)

"Because your neighbors down the freeway already have one..."

Shot of Gretzky as a King

"Because you couldn't even do it with 'The Great One...'"

Shot of Patrick Roy winking

"Because It's The Cup."

Fade to NBC logos

"The 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs: Starting April 11th."