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Handshake Line: A Bitter Acknowledgment to this Year's Better Team

Crawled out of my abyss of infinite solitude and sadness to give props where it's due

I'm not sure how I'm going to finish this post since this past week's deja vu of a loss against the Chicago Blackhawks is still so fresh. Some of my AC comrades have been so kind to the Blackhawks--so forgive me if my bitter tone remains within this handshake line. I will do my best to not pull a Lucic in my congratulations to the Blackhawks for besting us in the Western Conference Finals.

Jonathan Toews, Captain Serious.  You are the playmaker, the game changer, the team leader. While the Anaheim Ducks did take Game 5 in OT, you sparked that dangerous hope and momentum  that the Ducks once harbored against the Winnipeg Jets in Round 1. The series took a spin after those two goals. Well Captain Serious, I seriously hate you so much and I will remember this series in the next coming years.

Patrick Kane, you have been gifted with hands of the hockey gods themselves. I would hate you as much as your counterpart except for the fact that you are a beauty on ice. Often times I find myself so enraptured by the silkiness of your moves that I forget to scream, "WATCH KANER".  At the very least, I find you less offensive only because I know you will be playing for the good guys on the international stage...USA USA!

I'm going to agree with everyone else's sentiments in saying that Duncan Keith is a flat out freak of nature. After Rozsival's injury, we all pegged defense as the one soft spot that the Ducks could potentially take advantage of--and yet Duncan Keith skated a freakish amount of minutes every game and basically carried the weight of the blue line on his shoulders. He basically skated the length of the blue line when he was paired with the inexperienced Rundblad or Cuminsky. This guy can do it all--skate, activate, win board battles, shell out assists....The man is a freak of nature.

Corey Crawford. You are the epitome of a playoff goaltender. I mean, you are good in the regular season. Then suddenly post-season comes around and this monster brick wall comes out of nowhere. Don't get too big of a head because by no means are you saving games. But I will admit, you made a couple key saves that kept your team in games. So despite your b****y ways around your crease, you are doing your job.

Coach Q, you have a pretty amazing roster at this time. Milk it for all it's worth (which is a lot considering how little cap space the Blackhawks have left). Maybe you can give Boudreau a few pointers on how to approach Game 7s after the Lightning take you out this offseason?

That is all the backhanded positive I can muster so close to our loss. I'm still bitter. Let's Go Bolts.