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Handshakes for Hawks

I do not wish the Hawks luck.

Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

It was the best of times, it was the suckiest bunch of sucking time. Playing deeper into the postseason is certainly a small success. Being arguably the better, deeper team and failing to get out of the conference final against basically four guys, a defenseman, and a smart coach is really crummy.

Jonathan Toews is really good at hockey, and I hate him. When he's not playing against the Ducks, I like and appreciate his skill quite a bit. He can be used in any situation, defensively or offensively, and tends to come out the better player. By the end of the Blackhawks-Ducks round, he was getting free of Ryan Kesler and impacting the game - largely with Francois Beauchemin and Hampus Lindholm on the ice. Boudreau dared Toews to succeed against his "top pair," and he did. So, good game to him.

Patrick Kane is a hero. I have nothing bad to say about him. I mean...

Brandon Saad is a really good, young player. He's also very fast. I credit his speed as the reason Toews was able to finally break through against the Ducks, as they formed a very lethal pairing. He had probably one breakaway per game, which may seem a bit lucky and happenstance to you, but is supported by his microstats - he's a stud at generating clean carry-in entries and exits. Carrying the puck = good things. I would like to punch his face, of course.

Marian Hossa is a very likeable two-way player. I didn't think he impacted the series as much as the above three except in that he was able to play in any way Quenneville used him and be a force. His potting two key goals in the last two games - I mean, I think it was two, I'm not really going to bother fact checking this because f--k hockey, right now - was pretty timely. Clutch, you may say.

Duncan Keith was stupid good in this series, and shame on the Ducks for not exploiting the hell out of him and his weak-ass defense around him. He's sensational, and he smells (I bet). I hope very positive things for him after he's eliminated from this year's Stanley Cup Final!

Nobody else deserves any credit. I mean, maybe coach Q, but I grab my crotch in his general direction.

Good game, blah blah.