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Anaheim Ducks Weekly Rankings Jan 6th-Jan 12th: The Ironman

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Jake is here to rank the best Superheroes!

NHL: Anaheim Ducks at Dallas Stars Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

For those who missed this segment last season, this is a weekly series on Anaheim Calling to take a look at how various players on the team have fared. I will rank a random topic along on a scale of 1 to 5 stars and place different Ducks within the categories based on their performance over the past week.

My reasoning for the rating of the Ducks will be based on stats, results, and probably some of my bias. My reasoning for the rating of the random topic will be completely biased #dealwithit. I will elaborate more on some players than others. I expect everyone to probably disagree with me on both topics and all of my takes will be outed. If there is something you would like me to rank, please feel free to leave it in the comments.

On to the fun!

The games included in the ratings for this week are January 6th against the Oilers, January 9th against the Senators, and January 11th against the Penguins.

As you all probably know, Andrew Cogliano was traded on Monday to the Dallas Stars. He was and forever will be the Ducks’ Ironman. In honor of this, I will be ranking Superheroes!! Forewarning, I am not a huge comic book nerd and know mostly the basics along with movies. Having said that- as always, these rankings are 100% correct, and no one can tell me otherwise.

5 Stars: Batman

Batman is and forever will be my favorite superhero. Now some people may quibble that he does not actually have any super powers and is just a really, really rich dude. To that I say “LA LA LA I’M NOT LISTENING.” But seriously, Batman is awesome and what makes him great is the darker story telling that comes along with him. No, I am not just talking about the Nolan films; I am also talking about the animated movies along with all of the comic books. I am not a huge comic book nerd and do not own a whole lot of them, but the Killing Joke is my absolute favorite comic ever (Yes I know this is so cliche, but whatever. As usual: my list, my rules).

Andrew Cogliano - The real Ironman was not a superhero; he wore the webbed D on the front of his jersey and showed up to play each and every game. Thank you, Andrew Cogliano, for everything you have done for hockey in Southern California. You will be missed by this Ducks fan. [Editor’s Note: We’ll always save a suit for you.]

4 Stars: Spiderman

“Spiderman, Spiderman, Does whatever a spider can. Spins a web, any size. Catches thieves- just like flies. Look out! Here comes the Spiderman.” Spiderman is quite frankly awesome and has never been in a better place than right now. The Spiderman PS4 game is absolutely amazing. The Tom Holland-portrayed Spiderman in the MCU is providing us with the best on-screen live action Spiderman, and then Into the Spiderverse gave us one of the best Spiderman movies ever. On top of this, the character is just rad. Who wouldn’t want to be able to swing from building to building and go out fighting crime? That, along with Peter Parker being brilliant makes Spiderman one of my favorites.

Rickard Rakell - Ryan Getzlaf - Daniel Sprong - This was by far the Ducks’ best line on the week. They were just above break even in CF% at a 50.94 CF%, but dominated the scoring chance and high danger battle (55.56% and 69.23% respectively). No, they did not put up a huge amount of points on the week, but they were very very good.

Cam Fowler - Josh Manson - I am mildly surprised that I am placing a Ducks D pair this high, but this pair was solid throughout the week. They controlled shot attempts, scoring chances, and high danger chances throughout the week (54%, 53%, 52% respectively).

Jacob Larsson - Jake Dotchin - In limited minutes and favorable matchups, this pairing was really, really good on the week. I am not giving them a 5-star rating, mainly due to Larsson’s costly turnover and poor recovery that led to Phil Kessel’s goal for the Penguins. Other than that, they were very good. They hovered around 65% CF%, SCF%, and HDCF%, which was best on the team for D pairs.

3 Stars: Wolverine

Wolverine is your prototypical superhero. He is a mutant with adamantium claws and regenerative healing. This character obviously has a long history in comic books and cartoons, but to the more pop culture focused people he will always be associated with Hugh Jackman’s portrayal. There were some really good highs, like Logan, and some really bad lows, like X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Do not even get me started on the Deadpool cameo in that movie). Overall the character, along with its portrayals, has been average. [Editor’s Note: My claws are out for Jake after these comments.]

Nick Ritchie - Adam Henrique - Ondrej Kase - The line that was so hot for the Ducks in the previous week went a little bit cold. They still put up a decent amount of points, but not on the pace of the prior weeks. Henrique had one primary and one secondary assist, Kase had one primary assist, and Nick Ritchie had one goal. On top of that they posted a 47% CF%, a 43% SCF%, and a 50% HDCF%. They were not bad on the week, but they were not amazing either.

John Gibson - This does not happen that often, but John Gibson was average on the week. He posted a 0 GSAA for the week, meaning he was the literal definition of average per this stat.

2 Stars: Green Lantern

I really do not know a whole lot about Green Lantern, but I know the movie was awful, so 2 stars! [Yet another Editor’s Interruption: It’s a shame that the ultra-powerful DC hero could not get a movie worth his status, but this one deserves to be Snapped into non-existence by Marvel’s Thanos, if we can cross universes for a moment. CJ understands.]

Hampus Lindholm - Brandon Montour - This pairing was not great at all for the Ducks this week. They were on the ice for more goals for than against at 5v5, which is keeping them from the 1-star ranking, but it was not completely due to their play. They posted a 48% CF%, 41% SCF%, and a 31% HDCF%.

1 Star: Superman

Alright, some people are going to hate me for this but I really don’t like Superman. He is a superhero that basically has been given all of the most powerful superpowers in the universe. I have just never found myself caring about a Superman story, ever. Sorry I’m not sorry. [Editor’s Note: If you were ever hanging off the bridge I am proverbially hanging you from due to your hate of Superman... he would STILL save your sorry, exoplanatary-being-hating ass, Jake!]

Ryan Kesler & Jakob Silfverberg - I was tempted to not give these two 1-star on the week because of Silfverberg scoring two goals, but I couldn’t convince myself to bump them up. They were absolutely eaten alive by the Penguins, and on the week were two of the worst forwards in terms of shot metrics. When on the ice together they posted a 44% CF%, 40% SCF%, and 32% HDCF%. That is not going to cut it for two players on a “shutdown line”.

Brian Gibbons - Carter Rowney - Kiefer Sherwood - Yeah, this line was not good at all in the three games for this week. 41% CF%, 27% SCF%, and 16% HDCF%.

Unranked: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

These two Spongebob characters are awesome. That is all.

Pontus Aberg (1 game played), Andy Welinski (1 game played), Josh Mahura (1 game played)

*All skater stats are from Naturalstattrick unless stated otherwise. All goalie stats are from Corsica unless stated otherwise.

[Final Editor’s Note: It would be a travesty to fail to mention The Punisher at this moment in Ducks history. Set aside Frank Castle’s tragedy, and the Vow he has taken to punish the ones who took his family, Ducks fans. Life sometimes doesn’t make sense and things hurt us that are out of our control. If we are ranking this week, then the phrase The Punisher must be assigned to General Manager, Bob Murray. We are all feeling pretty damned put upon and disrespected. (We need a superhero to just fly around the world and rewind time, which SUPERMAN can do, Jake!)]