Anaheim acquires Del Zotto from Vancouver; Grant from Pittsburgh

It’s appears as though the sheer nuttiness regarding the Ducks continues as Hob Murray doesn’t know the urban definition of the word “chill.” It was announced hours ago that GMBM traded one of Anaheim’s better players, Pontus Åberg, to the Minnesota Wild for someone whom no one had a clue named Justin Kloos. (See what I did there?)

If that wasn’t enough, it was just announced- not 45 minutes ago- that Anaheim traded future Norris-trophy-candidate Luke Schenn, along with a 2020 seventh-round pick to the Vancouver Canucks for defenseman Michael Del Zotto. Schenn will leave a legacy in Anaheim where in eight games played he managed a mesmerizing zero, yes zero, points with a -6 rating. To be kinder, he performed much better in the AHL with the San Diego Gulls. In 22 games, he mustered 10 points with 2 goals and 8 assists, earning a +8.

As for Del Zotto, his numbers are way better, although that’s not saying much. With his 23 games played in VanCity, the 28-year old has 4 points with 1 goal and 3 assists, giving him a +3. At this time, Del Zotto will need a couple of days to sort out his visa before joining the team, but with the US government being currently shut down, it could take longer. Thanks, Obama.

Well Schenn, it’s been great. Who knows, maybe Anaheim will give you a nice video tribute where it’s five seconds of you sitting in the press box? [Editor’s note: George speaks truth to power.] The better question is, how many more moves will Murray make to “shake” things up? Time to throw the popcorn into the microwave!

...

Wait...hold the phone...WHAT??

Dammit, Bob!! Another one?!

So, just as I’m finishing this very article, Barstool makes ANOTHER trade! I haven’t even unwrapped the Kirkland popcorn package, when THIS was just announced:

Yep! Give the Ducks the Cup because Elite No. 1 Center Derek Grant is coming-coming back to Cali-Cali! [Editor’s note: Few SoCal fans like our beautiful region referred to as Cali. Should I tell George?]

Cheering ensued. Anaheim has traded Joseph Blandisi to the Pittsburgh Penguins. Blandisi only played three games in Anaheim’s big house and only amounted a -1; however, in 26 games with the San Diego Gulls, he did rather well, totaling 23 points with 8 goals and 15 assists, which gives him +8. As for the Elite No. 1 Center, Grant’s time spent with Pittsburgh garnered him 5 points with 2 goals and 3 assists in 25 games, equalling a +3. (Look, before you start comparing me to Jake, I’m getting these stats from NHL’s website, so calm down with the plus/minus hate).

Alright, there had better not be any more breaking Ducks’ trades for at least the next hour. If there is, then Jake can write something up since he won’t be giving me his Xbox One like he told me three times, and in one of those times he was sober. Jerk.

For those wanting a ventorama, Jake and Felix recorded a a bonus podcast episode reacting to the trades live as they happened. You won’t want to miss this.

Subscribe now for $5 per month to help support us and get exclusive bonus podcast content, like the live reactions to this trade!