Cam Fowler is sitting at home watching Big Bang Theory and ignoring Twitter

In a confession that has unfortunately altered my perception of him as a human being, Ducks defender Cam Fowler admitted to Kyle Shohara at NHL.com that he’s a “huge Big Bang Theory fan” (emphasis mine, but you can just hear it the way that people who are willing to admit this say it, right? No one ever casually and coolly says they’re a HUGE Big Bang Theory fan. Shohara also describes it as Fowler’s “favorite show.”).

Since the NHL has been on pause, Mr. Fowler has gotten through twelve seasons of this show. That’s 279 episodes. Approximately 5,900 minutes of multi-cam laugh-track mediocrity. The mayonnaise of sitcom television.

In his own words, Fowler and his wife Jasmine started the show around the time of the shutdown. “We’ve been watching it from start to finish and we’re on the 12th and final season now. You can go through a lot of episodes quickly, which I like. My attention span for shows that are an hour at a time I struggle with. I’m more about the lighthearted stuff.”

Using the season pause as our start date, they’ve been watching for around 39 days. That means they’ve averaged around seven episodes of this show each day since the NHL ended.

Now look, I know he had a little siesta away from the Ducks for a minute before the season pause, so it wasn’t like he came home and said “Work’s cancelled. Guess I’ll crush some Big Bang Theory.” But it might mean that at some point he realized he was going to be away from the ice longer than expected and thought, “Oh man, now I can finally crush some Big Bang Theory.”

Jesus. Seven episodes every day of this:

Yeah, yeah, I went to school to learn how to write plays okay, I am aware that removing a laugh track is removing a fundamental piece of the medium, as sitcoms by nature invite us in like a Greek chorus and to take that away is going to change how that expectation is received — but also there wasn’t a single joke in that entire video.

Come on, Cam, I mean ... seven episodes a day?????

It’s not even like it’s background noise while he’s actually just scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, because he’s, “kind of off social media and everything now.”

If I were ever to be freed from the temptress that is Posting, I just cannot imagine a world where I would then choose to watch twelve seasons of The Big Bang Theory.

The rest of that interview includes updates on Fowler’s rehab for the lower body injury that took him out of the Ducks’ lineup for the last 12 games prior to the NHL season pause (he’s “pretty much there, if not super close to feeling 100 percent again”), staying in touch with his teammates (“I’ve been communicating with a lot of the guys through the group text. I’ve been FaceTiming and Zooming with my family and friends from back home.”) and the meal donation program that Ducks players and their partners rolled out (“We’re excited to get the opportunity to help those people out.”).

Read the entire Q & A here.